The One Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
How many times have you thought…
“Why can’t I just handle things better?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I should be able to cope by now.”
If you’ve ever found yourself caught in that loop of self-blame, I want to gently offer you a new lens:
Your body isn’t broken. It’s protecting you.
And this one shift from What’s wrong with me? to What is my body trying to protect me from?, can change everything.
Your Nervous System Is Always Working For You
Your nervous system is constantly scanning your environment (and your inner world) for cues of safety or danger.
This is called neuroception, your body’s automatic system for assessing threat, even before your thinking brain catches on.
That moment you:
- Shut down in a meeting…
- Feel foggy by 10am…
- Snap at someone you care about, then feel guilty…
These aren’t signs that you’re weak or incapable.
They’re signs that your nervous system has shifted into a survival state, like fight, flight, freeze or fawn, because it perceived something as “too much.”
This response may have made perfect sense in the past. And now? Your system is still doing its job.
The Mindset Shift: From Shame to Self-Understanding
When you change the question from:
“What’s wrong with me?”
to
“What is my body trying to protect me from?”
…you stop the spiral of shame, and open the door to compassion.
Compassion is the first step toward regulation.
Because when we stop fighting our body and start listening to it, we create safety from the inside out.
You Make Sense
Every response, whether it’s people-pleasing, overthinking, avoiding, perfectionism or emotional shutdown, is your nervous system doing what it learned to do to keep you safe.
These are not personality flaws.
They’re adaptations.
And once we understand them, we can respond differently.
You might begin to notice that:
- The “overachiever” part is driven by a need for approval and safety.
- The “people-pleaser” shows up to prevent conflict and avoid rejection.
- The “shutdown” is your system saying, “this is too much, I need to disappear.”
When you see your behaviour through this lens, you no longer feel broken.
You feel seen.
A Loving Invitation
Next time you find yourself overwhelmed, anxious or shutting down, gently pause and ask:
“What is my nervous system protecting me from right now?”
That question alone is a powerful act of self-leadership.
It doesn’t mean you have to figure it all out in the moment.
It means you’re building a relationship with your body, one rooted in trust, compassion, and curiosity.
You are not broken.
You are beautifully wired for survival.
And now, you’re learning how to truly live.
