Most of us have been taught that saying yes makes us kind, helpful, and likeable. But often, behind that yes, our bodies are carrying the weight of exhaustion, resentment, or overwhelm.
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about caring for yourself in a way that makes deeper connection possible. Think of them not as walls, but as doors with locks. You get to choose when and how they open.
Why Boundaries Support Your Nervous System
When we say yes out of guilt or pressure, our nervous system often slips into survival mode. Tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or that familiar knot in your stomach, it’s your body telling you it doesn’t feel safe in the commitment you’ve made.
Setting a boundary, even a small one, is a way of signalling to your system: you’re safe, you’re allowed to rest, you don’t have to carry it all.
Saying “No” is a Somatic Act
Boundaries don’t just live in our words. They live in our bodies.
Notice what happens when you softly say, “not right now” aloud, even if no one else is around. Do your shoulders drop? Does your jaw unclench?
This is your body remembering that “no” is also care. Care for your energy, care for your wellbeing, care for the people you can truly show up for when your yes is genuine.
Practical Ways to Explore Boundaries This Week
Check in with your body before answering: Pause and notice—does your chest feel tight or open? Does your gut feel heavy or light?
Practise gentle language: Try phrases like “not today,” “I can’t take that on right now,” or “let me get back to you.”
Start small: Choose one place this week where you can protect your time or energy. It could be not checking emails after dinner or saying no to a commitment that drains you.
Boundaries Invite Connection
It can feel scary at first, but boundaries don’t push people away. They invite in the right people, the ones who value your wellbeing as much as you do. And they give you the energy to show up in ways that feel sustainable.
Boundaries are not selfish. They are self-care. And self-care is nervous system care.
Gentle reminder: Saying no is not rejection, it’s an act of tenderness, for yourself and for the relationships that matter most.